It briefly occurred to me yesterday that I could start a
running blog, and sort of smush (smush is a word) it into this blog. But then I
realised that to profess a level of expertise over something to the point of creating a blog on it, you really should:
-Know something about the subject
-Be good at what you’re advising on
-Do the thing your suggesting
And that’s why I won’t be writing a running blog.
Most of my recent runs remind me more of running’s second
cousin –walking. But I do move my arms a lot, and I think that needs to count
for something. It’s like, I start moving, and I realise, wow, I’m so tired,
this is so hard, how does anyone actually keep this shit up?
I think it’s the heat. It’s got nothing to do with my mental
stamina and physical ability
.
I’ve spent a good year believing that everyone was better
and faster than me. I’ve recently worked out that if there was anyone slower
and shitter than me, I wouldn’t know about it because I can't see them. And they say the ability for us
to learn drastically reduces as we age – what tosh! Thus, there are probably
loads and loads of people, even more inept than me. THUS, I am a truly awesome
athlete.
Thanks for listening.
In the massive gap since we last spoke, I have achieved many
great and wonderful things, including (but not limited to):
-Walking into a cactus in Croatia, which ripped off the
sleeve of my favourite holiday t-shirt.
-Been pushed into a traffic cone and fallen over it during
the Electric Run (only my pride was injured).
-Started dieting with Ginger. Each night we share the same
exchange.
He says, ‘You’re looking better for it.’
I say, ‘Thanks, I’m
starving.’
It’s really lovely.
-Shared out brioche between my battered colleagues mid pub
crawl. (Have I now surpassed my middle-class roots, and bashed head first into
the elusive realm of upper class? I THINK SO.)
-Realised that I can’t EVER spell ‘absolutely’ properly (yes, I’ve just had this little bugger spell
checked to make him right.)
-Thrown up in front of a family beside the Thames after
inhaling a swarm of midges.
-Made no progress whatsoever on my patchwork cushion (a
project I started to expand my abilities and creativity). Looks like I’ll just
stay exactly as I am.
-Started reading a book on what happens inside people.
Learnt a lot about urine and mucus. I’m not going to share. Read it yourself.
-Remembered how funny it is to freak out Ginger Beard by
Talking to him using the Salad Fingers voice.
Trying to draw the cross on his chest whilst saying, ‘I
bless you in the name of the Father, the spirit….’
Picking off my nail varnish and leaving it on his side of
the bed. Despite telling him it’s a gift, he gets super Geordie.
I’VE DONE SO MUCH. BLIMIN ECK!
I'm now going to do much, much less.
