Alan has moved in.
He replaces Fats and Fats (remember the grotesquely rotund New Zealanders I mentioned?)
I went out with an Alan once, in my first few months of University.
He told me he'd been asexual his whole life until he met me, and realised that he like girls. At the time, I just thought he was unusual. Looking back, I think he was really smart.
When I decided to end our brief romance, I told everyone we lived with first (it was a huge, renovated hunting lodge). He found out and decided that I couldn't end it if I couldn't find him.
For three days, whenever I saw him, he ran away.
Finally, I did the deed. He cried, and told me I was his sunshine.
THEN, RIGHT, CHECK THIS OUT:
He went home to Sunderland, slept with a girl from his Asexual Support Group (we'll address this later), got her pregnant, dropped out of our course, and got a job in Boots.
I'll try to find him on Facebook for you so I can give a real time update.
I'm sure that the Alan who has just moved into the Flat and I, will not share a similar story line. It's just made me feel a bit cautious of Alans.
Anyway, back to the asexual support group girl, what the frick happened there?
I like to think that seeing her friend in distress set off her latent sexuality, but I also feel pretty shitty about how my actions ended up making a girl who doesn't fancy girls or boys have sex and a baby with a guy who doesn't fancy girls or boys.
And that ladies and gents, is more Hollyoaks, than Hollyaoks will ever be.
Wait.
If he liked me, does that mean I'm the perfect amalgamation of male and female OR, that I'm so far away from either, that he was attracted to me?
What do you think?
Tell me the truth.
I bet you're chuffed that I haven't blogged in such a long time, only to spring out from the woodwork and smack you with this beauty.
You're right, I've not slept much.
