There aren't many things I like about my husband (as you may have already gathered) but there's one thing I like.
Nay reader, love.
And I mean LOVE.
His Vitality membership. For those of you not blessed with this, it's essentially a membership (paid for by companies who love their employees) where the employee is rewarded with gifts when they exercise.
Every time Ginger Beard completes a certain number of steps, Vitality rewards him with a Starbucks voucher. I then force him to send me said voucher and get free coffee.
That's right, his getting fitter, supports me getting fatter (I love me a caramel macchiato).
Here's what annoys me:
When he's not moving.
Because when his little, oddly shaped feet aren't dancing about, coffee is not on the menu.
When he comes home from work and is all, 'How was your day? I missed you!'
I'm like, 'Shut up and start running. I don't have time for this shit.'
And then I push him out the door, and close my eyes, and try to forgive him for being slow.
Honestly, I resent it when he sleeps.
His sleeping benefits me not at all.
This is what they meant when they told me that marriage would be tough I guess. You have to acknowledge their shortcomings and then try very, very hard, to change them.
But I wonder if it would just be quicker to divorce him and then marry someone like Usain Bolt?
Can you imagine that volume of coffee?
I can. Despite the fact that due to to my excessively high volume of caffeine intake, my vision is strobing.
Usain takes so many steps, that unlike Ginger Beard, he would have time to eat dinner and see his friends AND keep me in coffee.
The best ideas come to me on Fridays. Good ol' Fridays.
