The Screen List

Tangled poster nov-535x745.jpg

I have watched a lot of films recently, A LOT. I don't want to talk about the reason. It's not because I've lost the will to live, and achieve, and leave the house unless absolutely essential. I'm just letting my tired mind seek refuge in visual entertainment. Here's the breakdown: Do watch Robin Hood. I haven't heard anyone rave about it but I thought it was top notch, a heady mix of adventure, action, comedy and romance. Like watching half of Gladiator, stopping the Dvd, watching the last few scenes of a Beautiful Mind. I spent a lot of the the film going, 'Look, he's in the long grass, this is where he discovers all his family are dead', 'Oh look! This is where we find out he has a mental disorder'. Russell is looking considerably old and round, but kinda rocking the silver fox vibe, so still worth a good perve. Don't watch Ponyo. It's really irritating. I love all the other classic anime films, but this took the biscuit, and threw that biscuit off a bus. Yes, okay, so the imagination is still boundless, and you feel ashamed of not drawing it/thinking of it/using it before. That's standard. But, it's extremely childish. And - this is very insulting, I ended up doing housework, in other rooms. Pass. Also don't watch The Back-up plan. It doesn't rank as a romantic comedy, and features two hours of Jennifer Lopez being broody. And she makes being pregnant look a nightmare. Which I'm sure it is, but ideally she would present a woman who is still strong, attractive, and interesting. She doesn't. Watch Date Night, but don't pay a lot for it. Laugh heartily at the occassional joke, and spend some of your time pleading with the TV for better jokes. Think fondly back to watching Steve in Forty Year Old Virgin. Quite charming, know that your parents would love this. Make a note to buy for parents for birthday/xmas/other. Do watch Benjamin Button, it's actually good. I originally refused to watch it, thinking it far too commercial and sappy, but, it's fabulous. Be prepared to sacrifice three hours of your life, and switch dramatically between chuckling and crying. Watch it in the dark, and then no one can see the tears, not even you. Ditch The Princess and the Frog, which commits a crime calling itself Disney. The songs aren't bad, but it's not remotely believable. You don't fall in love with the prince, which in Disney is a pre-requisite. I spent most of my youth in lust with Aladdin. Definitely grab Tangled, a fantastically self aware story, jam packed with superb songs, taking you back to the delectable writing of The Little Mermaid, and Lion King. It's hilarious, and extremely clever. It also features the fantastic use of a saucepan as a weapon.






Arthur - 11 x 17 Movie Poster - Style A



Yay, Russell Brand performing stand-up for two hours, under the guise of a film!

This is truly charming, like a much needed hug. Admittedly Brand puts on an odd voice, which suggests constipation for the first thirty minutes, but it's forgivable. Much laughing was done by myself and my fellow audience members. We were very popular due to eating salmon and prawn sandwiches, but I digress.

Okay, so it's predictable, but most films are. They can't just keep remaking Inception. They do re-tailor and re-hash some very done topics, adding a delightful Brand twist. Which is why you find yourself cackling at some dark, and by any standard upsetting reveals

*SPOILER ALERT - but only a tiny one*

I find it very aggravating that Arthur's love interest went from poverty to published author in six months. This resulted in Ginger Beard elbowing me every five minutes to whisper, 'See, look how easy it is.' So I did leave the cinema feeling like a failure, but I really enjoyed the journey.

If you loved 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', and, despite the ever-awake cynic you pretend to be, you're a little girl inside, gagging for a happy ending, then this film will satisfy. It's also surprisingly moving. Helen Mirren is as elegant and lovable as ever, and the relationship between her and Mr Brand ultimately had me in embarrassing, thank god it's dark in here, tears. Well, my eyes were wet. I can't actually cry. I have no emotions.

It's a good date film, and a good cheer-yourself-up. If you're an aspiring writer, then write something before you go, to bulk up your misplaced idea that you are 'getting there'. This will aid you wonderfully.

Oh I do love Brand, and his delectable wielding of the English Language is ever present here. Witty. Warm. Gemma Approved.

I couldn't be bothered to write a review previously, but, film of the year so far - Submarine. It's totally the fittest thing my eyes have beheld in ages.