As myself and the lovely Ginger Beard are soon to be in a new home, I've signed up to several Chester Facebook groups where people sell shit.
And they are WONDERFUL. I don't mean that anything is useful or worth buying. But the bizareness of them keeps me chuckling throughout the day, like irrelvant but comforting colleagues.
This is my favourite, for many reasons. Mainly becuase the lady selling this has titled it 'Children's book about dealing with divorce' and then provided a two-step, two book approach:
Step one: Parents' divorce
Step two: One parent kills other parent
Don't worry - I have flagged it to the police.
I really want to buy them, but not from this murderer so I looked the first one up on Amazon. One reviewer writes that the messages are positive, but that the cartoon children have grim expressions throughout.
The little boy looks like a child David Bowie, so that's one thing he's got going for him, even if his parents don't love him enough anymore to stay together.
No one has reviewed the death book. I imagine the child abuse hair cut of the cover model put them off.
ANYWAY
I went to see my dental hygienist today and she was all like,
'So, what's new with your mouth?'
And I was like, 'I snapped my inside brace in half and you guys replaced it with fibre glass last week.'
And she said, 'How on earth did you do that?'
And I said: 'Sandwich.'
And she looked and my teeth and said 'You're sustained a few traumas to the roof of your mouth.'
And I was like, 'Yeah, hot potato.'
And she was like, 'What?'
And I was like, 'I burnt it eating a hot potato.'
And I really don't think I can go back there, becuase these people don't think I can eat food responsibility.
ALSO you hear that carbs are bad for you, and here we are thinking it's once they're dissolving within your stomach rather than during the initial entry into your face.
Be careful.
