Does anyone else have Sisqo's 'Thong Song' on loop in their head?
Just me? Oh, okay.
I am considering moving this blog to Tumblr, because I feel that it has outgrown this place. *Sob*
Well not really, it's actually because I'm all about aesthetics and Tumblr is prettier. I don't really understand it, and it freezes constantly. The most I can achieve is a blog called 'Untitled', and no posts. I think you'll agree, it's a definite improvement on what I've got going here.
ALSO, I've gained a small but steady readership in Venezuela. Welcome, hang up your coat, stay a while.
ALSO, I came home (alone) last night, and noticed muddy footprints up the stairs. I hesitated. I looked at the clean soles of my boots, and continued upwards. And then, entering the bathroom, I got the whiff of a man, a man previously unknown to me. A man who had recently been in this very room. My nose has all the capabilities of Sherlock, if he had been a hoover. It knows everything from a few inhalations. The only logical thing to do was get a knife from the kitchen, and go looking. I chose a dirty knife, speckled with spring onion slices, and hunted him. I brought forth the knowledge I had stored from every horror, ever psychological thriller, and unleashed it. I tip toed, I sought out nooks and crannies. I branded my knife, high in the air, ready at every turn, to stab.
So it turns out, our bath is leaking down into the shop below, and the plumber had come round (after speaking to Ginger Beard) and performed some Plummerish things.
At least I know, that when the time arises I will be ready.
To be honest I was thinking, 'Not here, not now, not by some cocky mo fo, who has the audacity to take a bath in my home before he murders me.'
Also, I am often compared to Rambo by my peers.
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