Hello fellow chumps, how goes it?
I was watching the news the other day, and there was this story about a man who found a pigeon leg. Like, he was inspecting the chimney or something, and it fell down, this foot and leg, with a little red capsule round it. They interviewed the couple, and the wife said, 'It's like Christmas!'
IS IT?
You know what it is like? It's like it's Halloween, and some fucked up mental patient is feeding bird body parts into your house from the roof.
It would be great to be part of that family, because of their horrendously low expectations around gifts.
ALSO
This drunk girl dropped her scarf and didn't notice. Because I'm working very hard on being nicer (I've recently been accused of lacking empathy for the common man), I picked it up and gave it back to her.
She said, 'Oh my God, thank you, you've saved my life!'
Why are people taking the English language and abusing it?
I am a bit perturbed at the extent of dramatics, but also overjoyed at achieving hero status after investing such a small amount of effort. Sweet.
Then she fell on me at the pedestrian crossing.
Advice of the week: Have you seen a film with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, called 'Uncertainty'? No?
Don't watch it.
ALSO
It's day seven of Nanowrimo, and I've only just realised. How incredibly exciting. I have to write approximately 1666 words a day, so that on the 30th of November I have 50,000 shiny new words before me.I mean, it's not like I'm doing it as an act of desperation, to prove to everyone that I'm not, as some may perceive, languidly clawing at the pathetic wispy tail of my escaping dream. NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.
By my estimations I'm nearly 11662 words behind already.
Luckily I'm being thoroughly motivated by my favourite exercise bike, the screen of which is frozen on, 'You are doing a great training.' Even when you don't pedal! I've never felt so full of optimism and motivation.I do do a great training.
Please pass me the vodka.
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