Sometimes your friends make drunken mistakes, and other people suffer.
When my friends were drunk, they decided to buy expensive tickets to a James Blunt concert.
When one of them "couldn't" make it, it was left to me, dear reader, to man up, and take the other.
What I didn't realise is that there would be no turning back.
I'm afraid to say that I:
1. Had a good time
2. Thought he was funny
3. Liked the new material
It's too late for me. But it's not too late for you. Beef up your iPod with something street, like Miley Cyrus, and try to move on with your life.
I'll just be over here, getting, well, more than a little teary at 'Goodbye My lover.'
If you don't know that song, things are looking very good for you indeed.
I asked Google, "How can I be more street?" But it is only willing to tell me how to be more street smart, or how to be a street fighter.
Tip number 10 for how to be more street smart is, "If in doubt, run and shout."
If I shouted and ran away every time I doubted myself, my throat would erode, and no one would ever catch me.
Maybe this isn't the best website. There's a quiz on here to decide if you want to lose your virginity or not:
3. You've Got a Plan If You or Your Sweetie Gets Pregnant
That's a pretty disgusting turn of phrase. I don't think I would want to have sex after reading that.
7. You're Prepared to Have a Terrible Time
A terrible time? Probs doing it wrong.
8. You're OK With Having Your Partner in Your Life Forever
That is some heavy shit.
If you've found these questions useful prompts, please feel free to visit the site here:
It's only time for blimin' Sleep of the week!!
This weeks' is extra special. Firstly, because I'm in it. I've circled my face, because I don't want you to miss me.
Secondly, because it's dedicated to one of Ginger Beard's colleagues who said that it was inappropriate and unfair to take pictures of sleeping people on the tube. I'd like to address this by saying that people can take my photo, whether I'm asleep or awake, and ridicule me online whenever they do so wish. There, that should do it.
This is Michelle. She is dreaming that she is kissing her teen crush - Paul Jesmond. In reality, she is kissing her own bag.
If I'm not mistaken, this is the very same girl who was going to try and seduce the guy with a bag full of chicken, with a cheeky leg rub:
Michelle's only gone and got her own chicken now, and by the looks of it, significantly more.
Good for you Michelle!
Still sponsored by Durex - 'Respect it, Protect it.'
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