Saturday, January 15, 2011

Operation Compensation

Please do join me on my little consumer experiment. I am trying to work out if a combination of complete bullshit and an obvious competence with the English Language can score me some cash/ a free pair of tights. This is the email I sent off this afternoon:

Unfortunately I have still not received my purchases, or any notification of the delivery status. As you can imagine I'm quite upset to realise that I received my original dispatch email on the 13th of December - a month ago! This is the second time I've had to chase up my order, and seemingly notify yourselves of this problem. I ordered these items for my sister, for Christmas, and though I appreciate the poor weather made deliveries difficult, it doesn't seem my package has even made it to dispatch. As someone who is a regular customer of Arcadia group stores, I'm very disappointed in the quality of customer service, and considerably put off from making any further purchases. Please refund the amount charged to my account as soon as possible.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Regards,

The lies: Timescales, the idea that I'd spend that much money on anyone but myself, being a regular customer, that I'll stop shopping.

The truth: Well, it is a bit late.

So let's see how much they value my middle-class complaining abilities. If I don't get offered double my money back/a good old game of Supermarket Sweep in store, including Dale or a job, my next email will be dripping with sarcasm.

I don't know about you guys, but I don't know of anywhere you can spend an apology.

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