Anyone know the definition of 'A walk?' I'm pretty sure it's a casual affair, at a considerably leisurely pace, which involves the inhalation of scenery and clean air. Unfortunately, a few friends of mine mistook 'walk' for mountain climbing, for wilderness survival, for army bootcamp. It's a miracle I'm alive. And what a loss that would be for the world - like losing J K Rowling, if she was slightly less famous, and was poor again, and hadn't had anything published.
It's lucky one of them was asthmatic. I stole his inhaler.
And you know what the conversational topics we covered were? Just your usual young professional banter: yawn rape, acid, pushing your other half off the cliff as a slightly less confrontational method of ending a relationship.
One of them gave me a creme egg and then hit me in the face. They all laughed.
I stepped in a bog. I tore my leather gloves on a rock. I had my focused face on and was labelled a 'sour faced cow.'
We went to a pub, starving, clothes torn, blistered, we ordered, salivating. They'd stopped serving food.
Thank God the weekend is picking up. Ginger Beard's only decided we're watching P.S I Love you. l think I'll just cry my way to Monday.
Hysterically yours, WriterAtLunch
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