Is there anyone out there with a lot of money who would like to sponsor me to write? £400 per month can buy an aspiring writer enough food to retain her slightly overweight form, whilst at the same time funding her penchant for sweet coffee, vodka and pineapple, and overpriced Habitat goods.
Do you know that aspiring writers have to drink tap water, live in rented accommodation, and remain in constant fear of the blank page?
All it takes is one small donation to change an aspiring writers life.
TESTIMONIES
"I never knew giving could be so rewarding."
"I'm overjoyed to have finally found a worthy cause!"
"I have purchased my passage into Heaven for sure."
For an example of what your money could do, take a £10 note, drop it in the toilet, and flush.
In other news, the Leeds Gallery will have nothing further to do with me, last night I dreamt I was shot in Wagamamas, in the vagina, and Blackpool is where I'd go to commit suicide, because I would definitely kill myself.
But seriously, nothing is happening. Well, nothing that I can publicise. Gutted. Essentially I'm plodding about, consuming food, engaging in small talk, and generally being aggressive. When my parent's check in, I give them other people's updates and anecdotes for lack of my own. Should I pursue drama? Shall I start a food fight in Bagel Nash? I shouldn't complain, it's not like I enjoyed being doused in tomato ketchup or bullied by chavs. Oh okay, maybe a little.
So, until life wakes up, over and out. Knitting anyone?
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