The ageing process

I've got a new best friend, she's called Touche Eclat, and is, by nature, a rather highly regarded concealer (literally).

Touche and I have formed a strong bond over the past few weeks, one which Ginger is increasingly jealous of.

Ginger: What's that?
Me: It's my touche a la touche.
Ginger: What are you saying?
Me: It makes my eyes look better.
Ginger: I think your eyes look fine.
Me: No, come here. Look, I'm getting old. It's horrific. Bags, dark circles, awful.
Ginger: They're fine! Look at my thirty year old eyes, tired, bags, dark-
Me: Oh my God you're right - Would you like to use my Touche Eclat?

*Cue tantrum*

Have you joined in the Graze box craze? It's amazing! You pay £3.50 for a box full of bird seeds in four sections!

ALSO

I accidentally went to the gym in my pyjamas. In that I grabbed what I thought was my gym kit off the dresser in the morning, and found out was my lacy PJs (thanks Topshop). Now, some people would've stopped right there, and said, if someone sees me I'm going to look like I have a dirty fetish to sweat in silk. But I just manned the frick up, and went for it. The only person I ended up having to justify myself to was the cleaner in the lift, and she hid behind her mop. Turns out that I was like soooo comfortable during my run. Highly recommended.

What else? Oooohh I pressed the little button thingy on my new umbrella that makes it big, and it shot out of my hand and hit a woman in York.

AND Ginger Beard rapidly sat back on the sofa, hitting my elbow, which was attached to my arm, which was attached to my hand, which was holding a glass of juice, which punched me in the face. Luckily, it only caused internal bleeding in my mouth. Unluckily, this has resulted in zero attention. I hate it when something hurts and no one can see it. How can anyone feel sorry for me without a proven visual? I'm considering putting my face in a cast, or making some kind of face sling. I also might fall on my face, just to gain the attention I truly deserve.