I could be doing a lot better than this, but for my past two lunch breaks I've grabbed a coffee with my colleague and occasional friend JB instead.
Luckily, I've got the whole day free tomorrow for catch up, and I've set the alarm for 6am.
Will I get up though?
Or course I will.
But will I?
Who knows guys, who knows.
Isn't it always the thought that counts?
Things have got very exciting in it. I've moved on from break-ups in Nandos. There's now domestic violence in Tesco, AND you think a little girl has been taken from school, BUT SHE HASN'T.
Ramping up the drama.
As always my efforts to loosen up my mind, in hope that a few original thoughts might fall out, is resulting in some rather disturbing conversations, disturbing for me and those around me.
I can only apologise. It's part of my process. For you, you're scared, uncomfortable, and close to ending the friendship. For me I'm relived, impressed, and I might just end up with a novel which surpasses the subject of admin. Here's hoping.
In other news, I've been hanging out with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Two french guys claimed to have seen him some seven rows below us at The Book of Mormon. I spent the whole second half trying to recognise the back of his head. The first half was stupendous.
I especially liked how one woman said, "There's no way he'd be with us in the shit seats." And he was. Arnie was choosing to slum it with the commoners. And I for one, appreciate that.
Well I did, until the guy in front of me said, "Ooh yay, floor smartie," and ate his finding. Then I was just embarrassed for us all.
ALSO
I held a rather successful (if I do say so myself) wine night at a posh bar. We did have 'All about the bass' on a speaker phone on repeat, let the female Gingers play fight in a corner, and stop a poor girl from leaving the bathroom until she answered questions about how her date was going. But the main thing guys, is that I didn't fall over, not once, didn't even totter. Or vomit. There was no vomit in sight. Well done me.
I've been to many, many events recently. It's not because I hate London and am desperately trying to stop myself from being one of those Monday morning commuters who looks across the rain splattered train tracks and decides to jump. IT'S REALLY NOT.
It's just because I love spending all my money. Yeah, that's the reason.
Luckily I don't even have to bother to smile anymore, because I've bought one of these signs from ebay. You should get one; they are very reasonably priced. Also, as if you need another reason, arguably a good work out for one of your arms.
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