That's deep, man.

The worst thing that can happen to you on a train journey, is an aisle table seat. You can't look at the person opposite, to the side, or diagonal to yourself. It's one of the rules of being British. You also can't look at the reflections of everyone in the window.

So, if like me, you get travel sick when attempting any activity, you look at the table in question. But then I think, do I look weird, like this? Having a staring contest with an inanimate object? Do I? So I look up. Oh no! Right into the eyes of the man across the way! So I look to the right, argh! More Eyes. And on it goes. Until everyone is thinking the same thing, 'look at that poor girl and her epilepsy.'

ALSO

I would like to share my revelations for the New Year:

As I get older I find that I have more questions, but am less bothered by how elusive the answers always are (stick that on a coaster). I'm learning to accept my own clumsiness, and the inevitability of a lifetime apologising for it. I know that I will lose approximately four pairs of gloves a year. I'm starting to discover that I'm not always right, which is as illuminating as it is gutting. Oh, and I can't predict the future, but I can learn not to think on it so much, and let it unravel in it's own time.

Oh, and resolutions...drink more water blah blah blah....don't be as fat yada yada yada. Write more. Much More, you lazy sod. World peace via one sub standard story at a time. Find out how to get a tan. Is this possible due to Casperitous? Research. Stay loose. Have already been quite loose. And I don't mean loose about the pants.

Erica Jong is still the best female writer. Ever. Admittedly closely stalked by Margaret Atwood, Nicole Krauss and Jeanette Winterson. (Sorry Mum) but she writes about sex, and disaster, and coping with loss, and enduring who you are with the most exhilarating clarity. I like that in 1995 'Fear of Flying' was labelled pornography. But is my modern day bible, which continues to support me more than any religion ever could. (Sorry God).

Regrets - achieving a friction burn in my sleep from a plane seat

-Dislocating thumbs whilst brushing teeth (stop doing this to me you rogue thumb bastards.)

-Forcep scar, which although inflicted on me more than 24 years ago, still remains a point of great sadness.

-Not fully heating that chicken pie.

-Spending small fortune on Berocca. Is not me on a good day, is me on a normal day, only now, with a lot less money. THANKS.

To be continued......I find myself awfully reflective....