Throw the dice

Times are desperate. I've started gambling.

For the first time ever, in my life, I'm playing the lottery.

It started with a work syndicate in Leeds. And believe it or not, we won. I almost handed in my notice, but decided instead (after counsel from close friends) to invest it. It was £2.80 between five of us.

The Manchester office also has a syndicate. I cheated on my syndicate. I couldn't help it! The possibility that they would hit the jackpot, and my whole life would suddenly snag on the small moment that I'd said, 'No,' was too painful.

I think I've finally acknowledged that I'm not likely to get rich via this blog, via being spotted in the street by a model scout, or via marrying a rich, vulnerable old man (though I'm not sure whether or not Ginger can be considered in this category if we're looking five years ahead).

ALSO

The bus is becoming my new playground for odd experience. The train's still mighty cack, don't get me wrong. But the bus has opened up a whole new world of possibility. Take yesterday for example. I'm looking out the window, at some poor bastard's crippled bike. He's locked it up in front of a church, and someone, under the watchful eyes of God, has stolen a tyre. My soundtrack, is one man, informing another, that he often feels like he's almost shitting his intestines. Then, a skinny fella, in tight pants, forces his crotch into my arm. I say forces, because I've never had a clearer impression of the shape of someone's penis against my shoulder. I felt so dirty, I had to confess to Ginger Beard that I'd cheated on him.

 (Mum- I'm really sorry about writing the word 'penis', but it did happen, and it's very therapeutic for me to share. Also Mum, do you remember the days when you would comfort me, over say, a cut knee, or tonsillitis, and now, strange men on buses are assaulting me with their genitalia. I bet you feel helpless. It's okay, that's normal. We can't protect our children forever.)

ALSO

I got on a train to Manchester with this blonde woman, and then, she was sat next to me on the way back too. Wow! I felt like we were friends! I wanted to ask her if she'd had a nice day. I wanted to be all like, 'Hey! What are the chances?! And what kind of job lets you wear flip flops to work?'  Then she phoned her boyfriend to tell him exactly how she wanted her eggs cooked, and I wanted to shout, 'Hey! I actually prefer my eggs scrambled.' But I realise many of my inclinations are, in the main, inappropriate.

It's kind of like when you see a group of strangers everyday at the bus stop, and you start to believe that you know them. Is that just me? SHUT UP.

Bye.