5k February

The only resolution I'm getting on board with at all, is this 10k lark. I guess, overall, it's a positive move, but let me tell you, there are soooo many upsetting bits along the way. Par example:

You: So, yeah, I've signed up for a 10k.
Them: 10k? Why wouldn't you do a marathon?

As it turns out, EVERYBODY runs. Not only that, but they run faster, and further than you, and they've been doing it since infancy. So if one of the main reasons you're doing this is for recognition (pretty much the main motivating force in my life), give up now.

They don't respect treadmill runners. That's not proper running. And don't bother with sharing your injuries either, because unless you're torn something/passed out onto your face/been hit by a cyclist, you are nowhere near being in the game.

Some days you will feel truly energised and brilliant. Most days you will feel like shit.

ALSO

There are these three old nurses on my bus. This, I assume, as only one of them has a nurses outfit on. Ooh, but maybe it's an unlikely friendship between a nurse, a surgeon, and a cleaner, sweeping aside pay brackets to generate a pure, long standing example of friendship!! Probably not.

The point is, one of them doesn't have a voice. And it's this one who does most of the talking. I'm serious.

It's a little bit Batman, but less, just the grating rasp. I don't mean to be harsh here, because I guess someone's stolen her vocal chords (perhaps her best friend the surgeon!), but why would you insist on babbling on every day with your life story? I can't understand what she's saying, and maybe that's why the other two don't reply. It freaks me out. It's like searching for the right radio frequency every morning for fifteen minutes. THANKS.

The cats aren't dead! I thought it would cheer you to know. But I can't go near them any more because it turns out I'm allergic to cats. I've never been allergic before. But then again, I've never stolen two of them, and let them rub against everything in my home. So....I can't help but feel it's some kind of punishment. Like God disapproves of me stealing other peoples things?

Like duh, I'm just going to stock up on antihistamines, and nick them again. Nice try though.