You've got a little something on your....

So this is pretty gross.

But I didn't do it, I just witnessed it.

A girl stood up from what became the only available seat on the tube. Myself and forty-seven others had been following her recent twitching and gathering of bags with excited eyes.

But then, oh no, what's on the seat?

All forty-seven of us silently agreed: semen.

She had obviously decided that it was worth sitting on dried (one hopes) semen for half an hour, if it meant that she didn't have to stand.

In an unprecedented respectful, orderly queue, people came over, jubilant, skipping, spotted the monstrosity and decided they couldn't do it.

After five or so minutes of this behaviour, a woman dressed in sporty gear approached, assessed the situation, and after staring boldly at the disbelieving onlookers, sat down with a bounce.

I guess she was dressed for rough conditions.

We judged her, we thought, 'you dirty, dirty bitch.' Our legs grew tired.

And the morale of the story is - It's better to stand than sit on unclaimed semen, because it can never be dry enough for your peace of mind.

Mum - I'd like to apologise for the theme of this blog, but I've found the sharing of it quite therapeutic. It's also a rather good social commentary. Do you remember when men were merely pressing their penises against my shoulder on the tube? Well look at them now! I might see if The Sun Newspaper fancies a little write-up.

ANYWAY

I feel like I need to make this better.

Here's a cute puppy:

Oh wait sorry, that's just a picture of a puppy eating another puppy.

Here you go:







This one actually looks really scared. Maybe he's afraid that he'll be exhausted travelling to work one day, and won't be able to sit down because a pervert has ejaculated everywhere.