Potts flies the nest

I appreciate that you can't read the attachment. But I did try, really hard. So I've decided to include this illegible post, to demonstrate how modern I am with my blogging. Much like the video you couldn't see, this letter you can't read, shows how god damn tech savvy I'm becoming.

The point is, my jealous fans (aka Dad and Ginger Beard) that a great tragedy has stuck, one from which we may never recover. My favourite tenant, and arguably the most entertaining, has decided to leave us. After residing here for six months, Ann Potts, without a word of goodbye, has applied for return of her deposit, and given her notice.

Yesterday, I was inconsolable. Today, I am sitting in my pajamas surving only on Fanta Fruit Twist and Quavers. Ginger Beard has taken down our 'Potts Noticeboard', where we had been loyally collecting her mother's letters, gym membership statements, and hsbc overdraft information. The oil painting we did of her (split into six estimations of her face), has been turned to the wall. And now, when we prank call her mobile, we leave listless messages, instead of the standard 30 minute cheery update, and song of the week, (Ginger Beard is simply fantastic at harmonizing).

It's hard to see how things can get better. So I thought I'd make a list of all of the terrible things Ann did during her time with us, the downright despicable acts.

• Not letting us go to the gym. Sometimes it would be cold, and raining, and I would say, 'Please Ann, please let us go to the gym. I really want to go!" And she would block the door.
• Put little bits of meat into Ginger Beard's potato filling. Really tiny bits of ham. So that once he was chewing on a potato, and had to open his mouth with all this ham and potato mushing out down his chin, crying, "Isss tha meesh int is?" Which meant, "Is there meat in this?" And wasn't very funny at all.
• Eating all the blueberry wheats cereal except one lone blueberry wheat.
• Pulling up the lounge blinds when Ginger Beard is changing in the lounge.
• Using all the loo roll.
• Burning the new table with a coffee cup.
• Force feeding us chocolate, and jelly beans, and cheese pizza.

But then I remember all the selfless things Ann did do for us.

• Never making any noise.
• Not eating any food.
• Never trying to seduce us.
• Not using the house phone/Internet/electricity/gas
• Staying invisible.

Go forth into the world Ann, and thank you for touching our lives.