Click Happy

Hey kids, how goes it?

I'm having a delightful time of life recently. The cream of the crop has to be yesterday's incident. I'm sat at my desk at work, suddenly overcome by a curiosity to see where all of my blog traffic is coming from. It turns out slagging off that puppy has drawn me much Google support. I also have a stronghold in Germany. I can only presume this is because of my German ancestry, which must be evident in my writing style.

There are also a few sources coming in from websites. I clicked on them. Someone's doing a research paper on colour. I'm flattered. It is true that my life is very colourful, mostly black, but black is very in right now. And then there's this one link. This one, inoffensive, innocent link. You know what fills my screen, at work, surrounded by colleagues, eating my tuna sandwich? Hmm? PORN. Lots and lots of animated porn, and women with their legs open, and their breasts bouncing. I said 'Shit!' loudly, alerting all to the issue at hand. And promptly shut the bitch down. I haven't spoken about it. No one has spoken about it.

I like to think that my blog is a kind of literotica for people, and listed on their site as an alternative to the visual. I guess the angst and frustration I channel here could be pleasuring the nation. Very likely. Go me. I am going to edit these posts, and sell the book to Ann Summers. Coming to a shop near you.

Also, notice the link, that puppy is still fricking there. I have written documentation that restricts the lifespan of that billboard to April. It's May now, why is it allowed to live? I have nothing against dogs per say, but it needs to be destroyed. Every time I look at it this happens, 'How does this represent aids in the 80's? It's so pretentious. I hate you. And I hate this commute. And I hate this sardine shuffle to the exit. Stupid dog. Stupid painted dog.' I don't think I can go through these emotions every morning for the next month.

I also don't think it's too dramatic of us to gel together in our outrage, and burn it. Would anyone like to help? Remember that even a few, small people, can change the world for the better. Also, let me know if you have the following items which I can borrow:

Flamethrower
Massive Ladder
Fire proof suit and headgear
Exemption from arrest
Keys to station

Thank you in advance.