I believe I can fly

Alright chumps?

My very first blog post in November 2011, was to announce that I would be taking part in NaNoWriMo (http://nanowrimo.org/). That is, the challenge to write 50,000 words in the month of November.

In fact, the entire point of this blog was to track my writing progress.

WHOOPS.

It's not really my fault that my real life is more comical and ridiculous than any fiction I could produce is it? If people would stop throwing ketchup at me from their car, letting me fall over, taking photos of my weird running face and sleeping on the tube, I'd probably be a renowned author by now.

NOT MY FAULT.

But just in case there is a remote chance that I'm responsible, I'm going to do NaNo this year. Yet another attempt to see if this writing lark is for me or not. Probs not.

I really do need a new dream, just in case, a set of aspirations waiting in the wings.

GingerBeard once got a bit annoyed that we were getting too old for certain jobs:

'I can't be a professional football player anymore.'

Me: 'Yes, but you never wanted to be one.'

GB: 'And I can't be an astronaut anymore.'

Me: 'Since when did you want to be an astronaut?'

GB: 'No, I don't want to be either. The point is that if I wanted to be, I couldn't be.'

And this is why I don't understand Gingers.

Just to spite him, my back-up dream will now be to conquer outer space. On the NASA website, it explains that their correct name is space sailors, which I prefer. I think it would give me instant cool at parties. I am always searching for instant cool.


Basic requirements for an Astronaut Pilot include the following: 

1. Bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in engineering, biological science, physical science, or mathematics. An advanced degree is desirable. Quality of academic preparation is important. 

What's quite annoying, and very surprising, is that Ginger has achieved the first basic requirement. I don't think I'm far off with my Creative Writing degree, because I have probably written stories which include maths etc.

2. At least 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. Flight test experience is highly desirable.

Now, initially that sounds like a lot of hours, but I've worked out that if you fly constantly, you can do this in 41.6 days. It also says that you should be in command, but does not stipulate that being asleep stops you being in command. Maybe you can just hang around in the cockpit of an Easy Jet flight looking serious for a bit?

I don't know what flight test experience is, but I think it's testing if you can fly. I would be prepared to do this, which is desirable.

3. Ability to pass a NASA space physical which is similar to a military or civilian flight physical and includes the following specific standards:

• Distant visual acuity: 20/100 or better uncorrected, correctable to 20/20 each eye.
• Blood pressure: 140/90 measured in a sitting position.
• Height between 62 and 75 inches.

I don't really understand a lot of this bit, but I'm pretty sure my eyes aren't up to scratch for NASA. This is not, as Ginger had previously stated, due to being old, but because I read a lot of books as a child in poor light. My Mum told me this and says I therefore brought it on myself.

Ginger does not wear glasses, and so I reckon that his visual acuity will be at least 99/100 or better uncorrected. Phew!

In summary, it doesn't seem that hard. It really is a lesson in thinking before you speak. I think that I will save up for laser eye surgery, just in case I decide to go for it.

I keep asking you guys for money and I never receive any. But I guess that because I have now been able to demonstrate the feasibility of me becoming a space sailor, you will reconsider.

Thank you in advance.