Be nicer to your feet!

4000 hits! Thank you very muchly indeed. I feel like I should give something back, and so I shall give this:

If you run too much, your toenails fall off. Yes, they do. Because someone told me this story, about this person, who ran, like really far (marathon) and her big toenails fell off. And then I told Ginger Beard, aghast, and he said,

-Yeah, I know someone that happened to.

And then I was like, OMG this is inevitable.

Health Officials yap on about exercise, but seriously, could your body be any louder in taking against it?

Looooaaddss of people are signing up for charity runs at the moment, and asking me to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately, I value my toenails. I just don't think my feet will be the same without them.

Though I'm not prepared to give them over, I am giving money instead. So in urging said runner along, I am almost, almost, running with them, mile for mile (just in such a way that allows for the retention of my toenails.)

ALSO

This thing happened on the train (Surprise!). You'll be wondering to yourself, why are so many people so horrible to Gemma on the train? I ask the same question, and I can only conclude that it's probably my face. There's something about my face which makes strangers hate me.

This man was in my seat.

Me: I'm so sorry, but I've booked that seat.

Man: *glares*

Me: So if I could just....

Man moves from seat, growling and goes to sit in a different seat. Man, mere moments later is turfed from new seat by another ticket holder and has to stand.

Internal Monologue - HA HA HA YOU STUPID BASTARD. YOU CAN'T GET ANY SEAT, YOU DIRTY SEAT TAKER. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU BEASTLY SCUM..

At this juncture, I overhear:

Woman (to another woman) - Excuse me, that's my seat.

2nd Woman - oh dear, I'm so sorry, let me just move my.....sorry about that.

WHAT? Why do I never get the sorry people, the reasonable, apologetic people?

And I'll tell you why - my face.Because even the nicest person, hates the face.

The man soon ends up sitting next to me, and elbows me all the way to Huddersfield. By which I mean, that he non too subtly, strikes me with his atrocious elbow (GBH) every time the train moves a smidgen. I retaliate. Until we are like two squabbling siblings, jousting with crooked arms.

Which is great. Because now it's costing me £16.95, to get on a delayed train, not be able to get to my seat for 20mins, accept visual abuse from the tosser in my seat once found, listen to incessant lies over the intercom about apologising for the overcrowding, and finally, to get attacked by a complete jebeye whose mother obviously didn't love him properly.

This is me on a good day.