Let's now get a lot less serious

Sooooo......

I'm kind of skim reading a book by Danny Wallace at the moment, entitled 'Akward Situations for Men'. Most of you won't know this, but Danny and I, actually have a very special relationship. I queued to meet him once and managed to produce this beauty:

Me: Can you sign it to my mum please.
Danny: Sure, what's her name?
Me: Stan.
Danny: Stan?
Me: Yes, it's a nickname.
Danny: What's her real name.
Me: Ann.
Danny: How does that work then?
Me: So I used to call her St Ann, in a mocking fashion, and then I just pushed it all together to make Stan.
Danny: Makes perfect sense.
Me: Yes.

(Danny then draws a terrible doodle in the book for Stan.)

Me: Well, I see your drawing's as good as your writing.
Danny: Did you just insult me.
Me: (long pause) Yes, sorry.

Me exit.

Anyho,

This anecdote ends in a roundabout way, of me thinking I should counter his book with an 'Akward Situations for Gemma'. Particularly in light of a conversation I had this morning.

Me: Morning! How are you?
Reception: Morning, good thanks. Well, apart from, I wasn't supposed to be working today. I'm covering for Steve. He's taking two days off.

Me: Selfish! I'll give him a really hard time when he comes back.
Reception: He's going to a funeral.

REALLY? REALLY?

BRILLIANT.

Me: Oh, okay, I'll give him slightly less of a hard time.

AGAIN, REALLY?

EQUALLY BRILLIANT.

Reception man stares at me in unabashed horror.

Please excuse me, while I go off somewhere quiet put myself down (It's for the best).